छत्रेको डायरी - भाग १ [Chatrey ko diary - Part 1]

छत्रेको डायरी - भाग १

२० साल पुग्दा नपुग्दै आफु बुड़ो भएको भावनाले ग्रसित भएर कलम चलाउन बाध्य भए | यतिका सालहरुमा मुस्किल ले ५ फीट बढेको यो ठाडो शरीर कुन दिन पुलुक्कै हुने हो र आफ्नो नामको अघि पनि स्वर्गवासी टायटल थपिने हो |  हुनु त मैले स्वर्ग जाने केहि काम गरेको छु जस्तो त लाग्दैन तरै पनि आजसम्म कसैले 'नर्गवासी फलानो ढिस्को' भनेको नसुनेको ले यो मनमा कता-कता हर्स पनि लाग्छ, स्वर्गै जान्छु भनेर |

हिजो मात्र जस्तो लाग्छ कट्टु बिनाको हाप्पेन लाएर लुखुर-लुखुर बजार गाको, सुलसुले खेल्दा फेरी त्यै हाप्पेनको पनि पछाडी पट्टि प्वाल परेको, भुइँ खोदाली-खोदाली जंगली अमला खाको, गनेउला पोलेर माछा भन्दै खाको, बाँसको जराको लाते भुकुंदो खेलेको, के-के जाति चै गरिन र मैले ?

एक-दुइ दिन गर्दै कति छिटो दुनिया कहाँ देखि कहाँ आइ पुगेछ पत्तै पाईएन  | त्यो फाटेको लुखुरे हाप्पेनपनि आमाको लागि झुम्रो भईसकेछ |  त्यो हिजो को कट्टु नचिन्ने केटा पनि आज Jockey र Neva मात्रै खोज्ने भएछ | कठैबर......

सानो हुँदा कहिले ठुलो हुनु र के-के गरुँ भन्ने भावनाले मनै अमिलो पारि दिन्थ्यो तर आज ठुलो भएपछि भने नक्कली केटिहरु हेर्दा-हेर्दा आँखै धमिलो हुन्छ |  जे होस् उमेरलाई दोस दिंदै भए पनि  सुन्दरता छर्दै हीन्ने ठिटीहरु चै हेर्ने गर्छु, आँखा लोभी मन पापी भने झैँ |  तर जे भने पनि छाउरो कुकुरले छाउरी कुकुर पछ्याएको जस्तो पछ्याउनु चै सिकेन यो ज्यान ले, नत: ट्वाक्क-ट्वाक्क जिब्रो पड्काउनु सिक्यो..... बरु हेर्यो घुटुक्क थुक निल्यो बस:  |

सानै देखि बाऊ-आमाको आज्ञाकारी बालक भएपनि श्रवणकुमार भन्ने उपाधि भने कहिले पाईन र चाहिएन पनि | हुन त श्रवणकुमार हुने जोसमा धनु-कांड लिएर हिड्दा मौरीले चिलेको एउटा घटना अझै मेरो घरमा हाँस खेलको लागि बर्णन भै रहन्छ |

 

नेपाली साहित्यकार बनि नेपाली समाजमा योगदान पुरयाउने ठुलो इच्छा र सपना बोकेर अघि बढीरहेको यो मोरो आज अलपत्रै बाटोमा ट्वाँ परेको जस्तो लाग्छ  |  लाग्छ कि अझै यो हातमा नेपाली साहित्यलाई योगदान पुरयाउने खाल्को ताकत आएको छैन | एउटा मोरोले त प्याच्च बोली हाल्यो कि दाह्री-जुंगा नफुलुन्जेल त जति लेखेपनि जति धसेपनि कसैले पत्याउने हैनन् |

 

तर कसैले पत्याउने र नपत्याउने कुराले यो मोरोलाई तातो न छारो हुन्छ | यो मोरोलाई लेख्ने जोस चलेकै छ | यसको प्रमाण तपाई यो कुराबाट लगाई हाल्नुहोस कि यस समय सबैजना परीक्षा दिनमा ब्यस्त छन् र म भने यो कक्षामा बसेर प्रस्न-पत्रको पछाडीपट्टि यो लेख लेख्दैछु........

 

क्रमस......................

[जब छत्रे फ्री हुन्छ]

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Me VS Onion........

Though scientists have their own theories and reasons why tears roll out of our eyes when we peel onions. But for me it was something different..... as I was deeply moved by a theory that I heard in my childhood days.

I remember a day when I was peeling onions... crying, as if I broke up with my first girl friend. My grandma yelled... 'pyaj sahanu nasakney le buri sahanu sakdaina hai keta....' [Boy! those who can't bear onions can't bear their wife]

That was the moment when I decided to be an 'ultimate onion peeler' no matter what, not taking any chances to ruin my relationship with my wifey.... :)

You call it my fate or anything, onions have become a part of my life now. In the flat where we stay [recently named as Reverie House], you'll probably see me cutting onions most of the time... 

There is this one person responsible for me turning into Onion-Man: Mr. Vinay Sir, just to give you a little idea, he is the man who needs 5 kilos of onion, 2 kilos of tomato, half kilos of lasun and half kilos of garlic... all this for 2 kilo chicken.

So, I have taken up the task of cutting onions and making everything ready for him while he prepares the dish. At first he used to get shocked on seeing us eating rice with chicken.... his favourite dialogue 'ap log chicken ke saath chawwwal kaise khate ho?' [How do you manage to eat rice with chicken?] OR 'bina roti k pet kaise bharta hoga?' [How do you get full on stomach without chapati?]

Though this Onion-Man peels and cuts lot of onion on a daily basis but still I haven't made myself capable enough to bear the prickling sensation in my eye.... I am afraid if all my efforts have gone in vain!!

OMG..... thats really frightening.... If I can't bear the onions, how can I bear my wife? huhuhu.......

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यो फुटेको खप्पर...... भाग-1 [Yo futeko khappar - part 1]

यो फुटेको खप्पर...... भाग-1

हिजो आज त अचम्मै हुनु थालेको छ। मनमा नाना थरीको भावनाहरु आइ रहन्छ।  खोइ यो मेरो मनभित्र कुनै साहित्यकारको आत्मा पस्यो कि क्या हो? होला......मन मनै कविता लेख्न थालेको छु। झन हिजो त अचम्मै भयो, एउटा महकाब्य लेखी पठाए। एउटा राम्री केटी देख्नै हुँदैन, मनमा के के भावनाहरु आउन थाल्छ। तर खोइ, त्यो मनको भावनाको छाप गालामा बस्छ भनेर डर  लाग्छ। त्यसैले यो भावनालाई मनभित्रै गुम्साएर राख्न  बाध्य छु। 

मन भित्रनै एउटा पुस्तकालय बनी सकेकोछ तर त्यो किताबहरु  केवल मैले मात्रै  पढेको  छु,  त्यो तथ्यहरु केवल मैले मात्र बुझेको छु । तर ती सबै तथ्यहरु बेकारका हुन् । ती सबै मैले उहिले क्लास १०  मा पढेको trigonometry हरु जस्तै हुन् जुन मलाई कहिले पनि काम लागेको छैन अनि लाग्दैन पनि ।

 sin(theta)  = cos(theta) / tan(theta) भए पनि, या

sin(theta) = tan(theta) / cos(theta) या (alpha) भए पनि

यो मोरोलाई केहि तातो-छारो छैन । तेती मात्रै कहाँ हो र ? अकबर को छोरो बाबर हो कि बाबर को नाती अकबर हो, यो मोरो ले बुझ्नै सकेको छैन । अब कसलाई दोस दिनु र ?

तर जे होस् हिजो आज भने चै यो मनलाई खोइ के-खोइ के भैरहेको छ । सत्ये रामा-राम भाकै छ । घरि घरि त मलाई मेरो बाऊ-आमा संग झोक झोक चल्छ । मलाई अलिक छिटो जन्माएको भए सायद म पनि एक-दुइ कृति हरु लेखि दिन्थे होला । मेरो बाजे झन् ढिलो, अभुई मेरो बाजे को बाजे झनै ढिलो । मलाई  L.P. Deokota भन्दा छिटो जन्माएको भए सायद म लेक्थे माहाकाब्यहरु, मुना मदन अनि के-के जातिहरु । भानु बाजे भन्दा छिटो जन्माएको भए? ओहो सोच्दा मात्रै आनन्द लागेर आऊछ...... रक्सी खाएर आनन्द आएको जस्तै  !!

अब के लेख्नु ? के छ र बाकी ? केहि राखेनन्...... खण्ड काब्य, लघुकाब्य , के-के काब्य सबै सबै सिद्धियो । यो दुइ पौण्ड को दिमागलाई एसो जोर लगाई हेर्दा त खोइ केहि देख्दिन । 

फेरी अर्को टेन्सन छ: दुख सुख गरेर एउटा काब्य लेखि हाले भने पनि पर्लान् के इनिहरु ? फेसबुकका किरा हरुलाई त म पटक्कै बिश्वास लाग्दैन । मेरो किताब फ्लोप बनाईदिए भने ? के ठेगान इनिहरुको ? कस्तो राम्रो राम्रो चलचित्र त फ्लोप बनाई दिन्छन । फेरी डराएर नलेख्नु पनि नभाको..... सारै ठुलो धर्म-संकटमा परे नि बाबै ।

जे सुकै होस्  I believe I can fly भन्ने  गीत सम्झिदै म पनि काम गर्नु थाल्छु । यो दुइ पावा को गिदीमा घरि घरि त जोश चल्छ । कि ति सबै नेपाली कृति हरुको second version निकालीदिउ ?

•  'मुना-मदन' जस्तै  'माईली-हर्केको माया प्रिती' ।
•  'गाईने-गीत' जस्तै  'Jackson Songs' ।
•  'सुलोचना' जस्तै 'धन-कुमारी'  ।
• 'पुतली' जस्तै  'The Butterfly' ।
• 'Badhu Shiksa '  जस्तै 'Bride's IQ Test'  ।
• 'Bhakti Mala'  जस्तै 'Faith Garland' ।

अहिले मान्छेलाई first version त पर्ने फुर्सत छैन, मेरो second version कसले पर्ला र ? जे होस् यो कृतिहरु छिट्टै बजारमा आऊदैछ । wait गर्नुहोला.....

 क्रमस:.....

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Engineers working on Project MOMO.

After we came to know that one of our junior had a moktu [* who doesn't know about the utensil used for making momos?], we went frenzy and decided to go for it as it was a week day and we wanted to have some fun.

Task was distributed and I along with one of my friend got a cockeyed task of fetching 2kgs of cabbage from the market in the clinchy heat. As someone had to go anyway, we went off.... complaining about the maladministration.

After our feeble efforts of bargaining had failed, we bought the 2kgs of cabbage in their original MRPs and were returning back when I remembered about the wizzing powder [*hucching powder as we say at our village].

'Arrey bhaiya, wizzing powder hai kya?'

'Bleaching powder? kitna packet?'

'nahi nahi..... wizzing powder!'

'Ab wo kya hota hai bhai?' :P

I became fretful as it was impossible to make him understand what hucching powder was, we decided to have our momos without one.

Work started, someone making chapatis [*roti sounds better than chapati right?], someone making kima[now don't tell me that you dont know about kima.... its the thing that you put inside momo... you dumbo], some playing loud music and that too of simple plan's and Jay Z. I urging them to play some hindi numbers so that the people around our flats would also enjoy.

With some interruptions in the electricity and some other minor problems,  we had cooked three sets of fashionable momos[30 in each].

Thats when our aunty[aunty... not aunt...] arrives, getting startled and amused at first when seeing young engineers busy at work. 

'Ye kya bana rahey ho?'

'Momo hai aunty'

Aunty was happy as she need not cook food for us for the evening. After reducing some numbers of momo from our cooker, she left praising us.

Meanwhile, some of our friends arrive... whom we had called to taste the dish of our place. 

I knew now it was obligatory to fetch some more cabbage and flour[maida] from the market. As my plea didn't work, I had to offer four momos before somebody agreed.

At around 8pm, we had our last set of momo placed on the moktu and everyone was tired and full on stomach too. Thats when someone called 'pakyo hai pakyo...'[Its cooked....] from inside.

We went rushing towards the kitchen.... though full on stomach.... we knew that this was the last set and god knows when we are going to have this type of day again.

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Looking for a job....

Recently, I came to know that I am getting old. Am I? Really? [My GF will hate me for writing this.... :)] 

Not that my face grew pale.... it must be due to the exam tension.... neither because of my excessive hair-fall, that too must be because of the cheap hair gel that I burrowed from my friends [hahaha.....].

I think now its time to do something.... a job maybe. As everyone in our class were talking about their dreams and future, at one point I took out my ID-card to confirm, was I really doing Engineering? It was an amazing feeling to know that there are very few who aim to become Software Engineers someday. Some wants to prepare for some Navy Exams, some going in military, some pilots and so so....

After listening to all this, I wonder why the hell am I with them crying, "I want to be a Software Engineer'. Infact, if I ask myself, I wonder if thats really my dream. 

So, I open a notepad [who grabs a pen and paper to write thoughts nowadays....] and start thinking and jotting down what do really want to do?

Though the list was going on and on, but some points really came from my heart :

1. I love to work with people more than machines and papers!!
2. I love to be with my family and friends
3. I love to be respected, to be loved and cared for.
4. I love inspiring people and being inspired.
5. I love making new friends and meeting new people more than dieing in a cubicle!!
6. I love travelling and seeing new places more than being stuck in the same environment for life!!
7. I love to learn new things and grow everyday..
8. I love freedom of time and money.
9. I love to see people excited about each others’ success and happiness
10. I love to see people completing each other than competing with each other..
11. I love to be my OWN boss.
12. I love to be in positive environment and develop positive environment around.
13. I love to be honest, compassionate, kind-hearted, generous, i.e., HUMANE..
14. I love to be successful by helping others for the same. “WIN-WIN”
15. I like to keep life-time relationships.
16. I like to bring “the GIANT within us”

17. I like to serve the people, the country and the humanity.
18. I would LOVE to LOVE and spread LOVE and get LOVE.

Now tell me..... what in the world will fulfill atleast some of my points above?

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Letter to my son - Part 1

To,

[name_not_yet_decided] Bhandari

C/o: Yamraj and Sons Corporation

Human Manufacturing Industrial Area, Heaven

Sector 12, Block 9

From,

Mistr Bhandari [Future Dad]

Earth, Spiral Galaxy

Dear son,

How is your life going on? Are you manufactured yet? I don't think you are, because you mom and I have decided to delay your departure by 6-7 years. Actually I didn't wanted to keep you waiting but you know your mom, oh sorry you don't know your mom right? Don't worry you'll come to know about it in the later years and then you'll be sorry for me. :)

I hope your eyes have already been fitted else how will you read the letter? If not then you can ask someone like Chitragupt to read it for you.

Son, people here are debating about the presence of heaven and hell. I don't think there is any way to prove it when we are alive. So, will you do a favor for the mankind? Do anyone out there have a digital camera? If yes then please click some photos and mail me. If you don't have a camera then I hope you do have an internet connection. You can order one from ebay.com. They will ship the item within a week [or month as your place is bit far].

Another thing, I know that once you come to earth, you'll feel like going back to the place where you came from. But we cannot do so. The back link of the track that brought you here will be broken forever and you have to stay here no matter what. So before you board the train that brings you here, make sure you transfer all your bank account to our place.

Son, you should be mentally prepared to see and encounter many things that you may not be habituated to seeing. And nowadays hard work is rarely appreciated in our place. Make sure that you are present there when god is writing your fate. Before signing the agreement of your fate, reread all lines properly and correct it.

Had many things to say but don't know whether this letter will reach you or not. Reply me as soon as you get the letter. And say my regards to everyone out there.

With lots of love and care.

- Your future dad

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Why 'Sikkim' in Sikkim Mahananda Express.......?

'53 Waiting List in North-East Express!' said the person at the ticket reservation counter and stared at me waiting for my reply. I was there reserving a ticket for my journey back home for the Summer Vacation. 'A confirm ticket on any train would be okay', I said.

He was again busy with the railway reservation site looking for any seats left in any trains. 

'huh..... 112 seats left in Sikkim Mahananda Express!'

I jumped off my feet in sheer joy. But wait..... did he just say 'SIKKIM' Mahananda Express?
'Which train?' I asked in disbelief.
'Sikkim Mahananda Express...'

I never knew that the full name of Mahananda Express was 'Sikkim' Mahananda Express. I had heard some second-hand news about Mahananda Express. Like, it is the slowest train in India, pregnant women gives birth to their child in the train itself, and so so. I don't remember the source of this information though. [I won't confirm the reality as I have already said, it was a second-hand news]

Two days later, I was at the Delhi railway station waiting for the train. Praying god that the rumour I heard about the train are just rumours and not real.

I walked towards platform No.11, where a big crowd of people had already gathered. I looked towards my right, there were people to the last corner of the platform, same condition in the left.

We put down our bags and sit there alert and concious as Indian Railway Stations are highly famed for thieves....

Then the announcement...'yatri kripaya dhyaan dey.... New Jalpaiguri hokey janey wali Sikkim Mahananda Express platform no. 11 par aa rahi hey...'

I hear the loud roar of engine and the swarm of people start pushing each other, stepping upon each others bag.... 'arrey bhai, hamey bhi jana hai.... rukegi train aaram se charo' I shout!!

Did anyone listen? haha... People start boarding the train while it is still moving. At one point I doubt, 'will train even stop?'

I look at the coaches of the so called 'Sikkim' Mahananda Express.... it looked as if it was attacked with cowdung and glasses most of it broken.

Ignoring all this, I pick up my bag and start looking for our coach. Pushing and pulling continues.... and I reach my seat. 'Arrey bhai rasta do' 'bhaiya saman toh rakhney do....' I argue.

Then I see the real situation of the so called 'Sikkim' Mahanganda Express. People start boarding the train with large big bags [which we call in nepali as 'bora'], not just one but many, as if they were taking their whole home to some other place. My friend looks at me and I smile.

Whistle blew and my friend took a deep breath. He seemed to be quite irritated by the loud sounds that the people on our coach were making. Some fighting over seats [luckily not us], some talking in mobile as if the person on the other side was deaf, some arguing with their wife and children and so so....

The train caught motion, I thought about our Newton Uncle's theory, 'An object on rest or motion continues to be in rest or motion until and unless acted upon by some external force.' I start thinking about the external force that brought the long train from rest into motion..... [pretending to be clever]

Meanwhile, we had covered a long distance and had left the Delhi Railway Station quite far away.... someone shaking me.... 'hah bhai! naasta?'

I point at my partner and leave the descision upto him. He, still seemed to be overcoming the irritation and frustation of the loud roars that the people in front of us were making and the big bags that were piled in front of us....

'Log kya kya lekar charte hain train mein?' he asks the person who had come for taking the order for breakfast.
'Bhai! ye MAHA-NANDA nani MAHA-GANDA train hein!' he replies....
'Hahahahaha.....' my friend laughs as if he was fully satisfied with the statement and the statement was what he wanted to hear, the frustation  had vanished from his face. I smiled too.... supporting him!!

After a while I was again lost in the thougts.... but not about the Newton's Law this time. I was thinking about the name of the train. I couldn't find the reason why this train was called 'Sikkim' Mahananda Express.

Why is the name 'Sikkim' attached to Mahananda Express?
I have never found anyone in my life who have visited Sikkim at least once and ever complained about Sikkim. May it be in cleanliness, or about the behavior of the people out there [ignoring some taxi drivers over charging them] , or the peace that prevails in the hills.

If 'Sikkim' Mahananda Express isn't like Sikkim in anyway then why is the name of our beautiful state hanging there?

A feeling of hatred burns inside my heart for the one who thought of keeping the train's name as Sikkim Mahananda Express which isn't like Sikkim in any way.

Meanwhile after some nitty gritty experience and about 36 hours of journey, our Sikkim Mahananda Express had brought us to our destination. After getting out of the train and having a sip of tea in the station, I look back at the train as it starts it engine and thank it for bringing me home safely and I felt it smile and wave back at me.

[Note: Not meant to harm the sentiments of anyone. If so, is purely co-incidental and unintentional.]

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Dont judge a book by its cover.... [A touching story]

[source: Internet]

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston and walk timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President’s outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn’t even deserve to be in Cambridge.

“We want to see the president,” the man said softly.
“He’ll be busy all day,” the secretary snapped.
“We’ll wait,” the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn’t and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.

“Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they’ll leave,” she said to him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn’t have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, “We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.”

The president wasn’t touched.... He was shocked. “Madam,” he said, gruffly, “we can’t put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.”

“Oh, no,” the lady explained quickly. “We don’t want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.”

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, “A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.” For a moment the lady was silent. the president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, “Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don’t we just start our own?” her husband nodded.

The president’s face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, travelling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

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'I Love you dad' Dedicated to #1 Dad.

I wish to thank you for those

little big things,

like the ray of hope your smile

so often brings.

Like the claspig of your

helping hand,

like those soothing words

- "I understand".

Like your touch of

comfort after pain,

as the warmth

of sunshine after rain.

Like your unwavering support

through tears and trials,

like your consels that calm

all my fears.

Like your words of wisdom

as the rainbow in the sky,

Like your ability to

share without a sigh.

Like your giving deeds,

that fill my need for love,

like your wealth of prayers for me,

to the Lord above.

Like your gentle guidance

and devotion so deep,

like your sincere emotions

and the promises you keep.

Like the way in your praise,

my heart so often sings,

like that happy feeling

your company brings.

Like the way you help me

soar on eagle wings,

by doing some magic through

little big things.

Like the unending care

and the inspiration you give

I wish you to always by my side

in all the moments I live.

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.... now and always"

Happy Fathers day!!

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Reviews on my dream car

I remember the day when we were discussing our dreams. It was my turn and I said, 'I dream to own Bugatti Veyron someday!'

'Hmmmm..... whats the price?' Sir asked me.

I erred and replied 'Around 14 Crore!'

He stared at me with mouth wide open for some seconds and then wished me luck. But I know his 'best of luck' gonna get wasted....:)

Now, what is this car all about?

Any car lover would know that Bugatti Veyron is the most expensive modern car in the world. It leads the road with the maximum speed of up to 431 km/h which again makes it the fastest car in the world at present.

This car is designed by German Volkswagen Group and is said to be produced by Bugatti Automobiles. Read More....

But is this really my dream car?? Ummm..... no yes! but just my dream car. By the word 'dream', I only and only mean dream. I have dreamt of driving this car (with my gf by my side) many times.... but owning it in reality brings a chill to my spine.....

For: The sound of the engine will make everyone go crazy.... and even blinds will see you on the run. 

Against: It will make a very very big hole in your pocket.... not just hole in your pocket.... your bank accounts would go empty and you would be loaned an amount that even generations wont be able to pay!!

The next car on my list is one of the sweetest car in history. I saw this car in one of the showroom of Volkswagen that is located on the way to Begumpul from my place.

As I was sitting on the staff seat of the auto and chatting with the auto-wala and trying to convince him that Sikkim is a state that belongs to India and not Nepal, I saw a little yellow car in the showroom of Volkswagen as we passed near to it.

At first I thought that it was some kind of childs toy but later I googled and found this car to be called as Beetle.

Now, what is this car all about?

It is an economy car produced by the German auto maker Volkswagen again. It is a vintage car that has been manufactured from 1938-2003 with lots of modifications and newer features included in every next design. More than 21 Million such cars have been manufactured till date. Read More....

No matter how ugly the name bettle sounds, it is as sweet as anything. The car looks girly and very sexy too. A best car to be gifted to sister or girlfriend..... isn't it?

The starting price is around 21 Lakh. Seriously guys, I have started saving money for this car... :)

For: Cutest ever.... you will love the compliments from chicks.

Against: Too girly.... guys wont get a chance to drive this car as womens will find themselves too over powered with the car key in their hand.

[Note: The reviews written above are based on my personal views and are meant for fun purpose only. I dont guarantee the correctness of the information provided above.]

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Bhanu Jayanti 2011: 'समाज यस्तै छ'

बिहानै उठी सिलिंगमा के चर्दै थिए भाईले सोध्यो मलाई

'कुकुरले गु पनि नखाई कता चढेको दाई?'

चड्दै चड्दै मैले भने, 'बाजेको रामायण निकाल्न चढेको'

भाई गर्ज्यो म माथि 'एन्जिनीरिंग गर्दैथिस होइन? के को रामायण पदनु परेको?'

'तेसो नभन केटा आज त भानु जयन्ति पो'

भन्दै हाम्रो बाजे कता बाट आएछन,

'को हो भानु?' भनि भाई ले सोद्धा

बाजे झन्डै मुर्छा परेछन!!

मलाई त एकदम रिस उठी हाल्यो

'माईकल ज्याकसन चिन्छस?' भनि सोधी हाले

'Yes Bro!' भनि भाई त बुरुक बुरुक उफ्रिनु थाल्यो,

'के भो?' भनि सोधे मैले

'के भो?' भनि सोधे मैले

भन्छ 'माईकल ज्याकसन को डान्स पो देखाको'

इसतब्द भई म अवाक्क बने

र केहि नभनी हेडमास्टर को घर तिर लागे

हात मा थमाई रामायण मैले, उनलाई सोधे

'कस्तो मनाउदैछन् सर भानु जयन्ति यस पाली?'

सरले भन्नु भयो,

'कस्तो भन्नु र भाई! उही त हो,

रामायण पदनु कोहि मान्दैनन, पाखे पो भन्छ भन्छन

दौरा सुरुवाल लाउनु कोहि मान्दैनन, scope down हुन्छ भन्छन!!'

यो कुरा सुनेर त मेरो चित्तै मरी आयो

भानु भक्त ले गरेको त्यो त्याग र बलिदान आज कता हरायो?

सर ले भन्नु भयो,

'हेर न भाई आजकल त अचम्मै छ

राम्रो संग नेपाली बोल्नु नआउने ले पनि broken english पर्कौनै पर्ने रे

जुम्रा सरि को केश korean style पार्नै पर्ने रे

जातीय भेस-भूसा लाउन सरम हुने रे

दस ठाउँ टालेको jeans pant नै लाउने रे

तिमी नै भन भाई,

यो पारा ले हाम्रो जाति र समाज कसरी अघि बर्ने?

हाम्रो जाति र समाज कसरी अघि बर्ने?'

Posting this poem a month before Bhanu Jayanti because they say.....

'कल करे सो आज कर, आज करे सो अब' :)

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All over again.....

When you look into my eyes and smile, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you hold my hand while walking, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you hug me tight, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you cheer me up when I am feeling low, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you exchange our coffee cups, I fall in love with you all over again.

When we share the same apple, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you talk like a little kid, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you laugh like anything over not so funny joke, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you scold me like my granny, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you talk boring stuffs, I just look at your lips and I fall in love with you all over again.

When you are beside me doing nothing, still I fall in love with you all over again.

When you read funny poems to me, I fall in love with you all over again.

When we walk in the rain under the same umbrella, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you get angry when I talk about 'Kewal', I fall in love with you all over again.

The way you handle situations perfectly everytime, I fall in love with you all over again.

When you quarrel and prove me wrong everytime I am wrong, I fall in love with you all over again.

When I am just sitting here thinking of you, it makes me fall in love with you all over again.

And I promise I will love you till the end.

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मलाई नाच्नै आएन [Malai nachnai ayena....]

ठुलो भ्रम्म मा रहेछु म, आज झसंगै भए

कम्मर पटक्कै नहल्लिंदा म, छागा बाट खसे

हिजो सम्म music बज्नै नहुने, खुट्टा हल्लिन्थ्यो

'मुन्नी बदनाम हुइ' मा पनि नाच्न मन लाग्थ्यो .

Party मा सब भन्दा पहिला नाच्ने म नै हुन्थे

Night show तिर त announcement मा पनि नाच्थे ,

नाच्दा नाच्दै मन मा लाग्नु थाल्यो

Dance India Dance मा गएको भए मो नै जितथे .

'I am a disco dancer' भनेर छाती फुल्लायेर हिडेको आज बल्ल निस्क्यो

समला ताल मा चाल नमिल्दा सरम असाध्यै परियो

आज सम्म त Hit Beer ले नै लाज बचाएछ आज थाहा पाए

त्यो नभए त नाच्नै नआउने, सारै दुख पाए,

Moon walk पनि practice नगरेको होइन, तर ठ्याक्कै पारा आएन

सिकाउने ले पनि हरेस खाएर सिकाउदै सिकाएन .

सानै देखि को थियो मेरो Michael Jackson जस्तै नाच्ने सपना

कहते है न लोग किस्मत अपना अपना ?

* Work of fiction. Any resemblance to person living or dead is purely co-incidental.

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Who am I?

I looked in the mirror trying to figure out who am I and why am I born? But all I could see was the same old face with two eyes planted on the head, a nose with again two holes, two ear and one mouth enough to make me talk all day and to feed me up to keep me alive. But why am I alive? Do I have a reason? No.....

I move two step back then what I see? Full me in the mirror, I mean head to toe. What shape do I have? Is it some kind of trunk or shapeless. While I am looking at this mirror trying to figure out my shape, I know that thousands of people across the world cant see at all and can only imagine how world looks like but why should I care? It is none of my business. I have to know who I am.

Well, if you are thinking me a fool or you know the answer then you must be a genius right? Probably you must be smarter than Einstein or Newton? Let me tell you, these so called very intelligent people also didn't knew who the hell they were. Nobody knows for that matter, but if you do know then of course you are genius enough.

I see on the mirror, I have grown hardly 5ft some inches and I can barely hope I weigh at least around 50 kg. But I am what I am, so you are.

But, seriously, if you think deeper and try to make sense of the matter you are made up of then you might hit the jack pot. Try it....... Be silent for a while, giving your grey cells the chance to think!

Think! Think! Think!

Anatomists and biologists, not forgetting chemists, tell you that you are made of cells. Even my biology maam told me that I am made up of cell. But I am pretty sure that the same had been told to her by her Biology maam. Millions of cells come together, by a miracle and make what you see. We were even asked to peel off small skin from our inner cheek and put it in a microscope. What I saw was amazing, the figure of cells with nucleus in the microscope was same to that in the biology book.

What does that mean? These cells come together, united [probably form some Cells Association] to form all your systems, like blood system, muscle system, bone system, brain system, and all that you have.

But going further and deeper into yourself, and to add more confusions to the answer, physicists tell you you are made of atoms, trillions of them, assembled in such a way to make you what you are.

Now what are you? A bulk of atoms making your shape and form. But what are atoms? I expect you to open up a wikipedia page on atom as I do the same. It defines 'The atom is a basic unit of matter that consists of a dense, central nucleus surrounded by a cloud of negatively charged electrons......'

So it seems now you know who you are? But wait!! Where did the atoms come from? Lets ask Einsten..... but he is no more! Even if he was alive he wouldn't answer you. The answer is still unknown as from where did the atoms come from.

But I hope you know, for you take yourself as a genius but we all are a donkey on two legs. How far can man go in his or her ignorance? Unlimited!

To what extent can man and woman feel superior to others, to animals and insects like cockroaches. We think we know and we know, in reality, nothing. I know nothing.

And I don't know who am I?

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भ्यालेनटाइन डे 2011 [Valentine Day 2011]

नआओस भनेको आई हाल्यो, गोजीको पैसा चिलाई हाल्यो

Girl Friend लाई त्यसदिन भेट्नै पर्ने रे, हात समाई हिर्नै पर्ने रे .

एक महिनाको gap मा बल्ल-बल्ल नुहाई

ओइलाएको फूल भगवान लाई चडाई

भए-भर का क्रिम-श्रीम लगाई

आँगनको गुलाब पिटिक्कै चुडाई

जान लागे म पनि Valentine Day मनाउनलाई .

केस सेस प्ल्यात्तै पारेर, जबरदस्ती korean हुनु खोजेकै छु

Zatak very very sexy हरे, हो के हऊ भनि त्यो पनि लगाएकै छु .

ढक-ढक dad को ढोका ढकढकाए

'कता मरेको बिहान-बिहान ?', dad को आशिर्वाद यसरी पाए

तर आशिर्वाद होइन मलाई त, Money देवताको खाँचो छ

Valentine Day मनाउनलाई dad तपाईको छोरोको गोजी रित्तो छ .

'कति चाहिन्छ ?' भन्ने dad को त्यो अमुल्य प्रस्न

यो मनमा calculation चल्न थाल्यो

Disco खर्च र teddy bear included, 7 हजार भनु भनु लाग्यो

Dad लाई heart attack हुन्छ भन्ने डरले 4 हजार भने

'4 हजार ?? salary माँगछस बजिया ?', बाउले आँखा फुकाले .

धेरै बेर को त्यो bargain र discussion

झन्डै world war मा बदल्यो

2 हजारमा बल्ल-बल्ल दाम मिल्यो

र छोरो bag भिरी valentine day मनाउन हिड्यो .

कानमा earphone ठुसी english song बज्दैछ

पत्तो छैन के भन्दैछ भन्दैछ

गोजीको गुलाब कुच्ची सक्यो होला

मनमा कता कता चिसो पस्यो

'Sila ki jawani' ringtone बजेको थाहा पाए

गोजी बाट उही थोत्रे mobile निकाले

हेरेको त उही जिलीगांटे मायालुको नाम रहेछ

'Darling, where coming? I m waiting!' अनौठो message परेछ .

यो message हेर्दा त मेरो मनै मरी आयो

पक्का पनि उसको X bf English honors होला भन्ने संका लाग्यो

फेरी के के सोंची आफ्नो मनलाई थामी हाले

'Yes coming, batoma coming' भनि reply पठाए .

बल्ल तल्ल म राजधानी gangtok पुगे, गाडीबाट झरी केस लुगा दस चोटी ऐनामा हेरे

गज्ज़क्क गजमुंटे गणेश जस्तो मेरो अनुहार देखि, आफै आफै दङ्ग परे .

एसो पर हेरेको त चिनेकै बैनी हास्दैछे

Smart देखेर होला म पनि हाँसी दिए

आँटा जस्तो अनुहारमा powder धसेकी

Rajesh Hamaal जस्तो कपाल छोरेकी

ब्यागबाट ऐना निकाली र ओंठमा lipstick लाउन थाली .

Skin tight sweator र leggings मा, उ त पक्कै सानो को tun-tun होला

चालको लागि हो कि के हो, हात मा छ laptop को झोला .

कतै उ नै त मेरो जिलीगांटे मायालु होइन ?

हो कि के हो ? बहिनीलाई चिन्नै सकेको छैन

'Hi darling' भनेर घ्वाप्पै अंगालो हाली

सास फेर्नु नसक्ने गरि मलाई मठारी .

'Why so late?' उसको त्यो मधुर बोलि, भ्यागुताले टर्र-टर्र गरे जस्तो

Lipstick लगाको उसको त्यो रातो ओंठ, भोगोटेको ठुलो केस्रा जस्तो

सारै राम्री छे है मेरी मायालु तर अलिक नक्कली

उसलाई देख्दा गीत याद आउछ masakkali masakkali .

भुइँ कुख्री जस्तो उ अघि अघि लागि, म पछि-पछि भाले झै गए

MG Marg र कता-कता घुम्दै, Valentine day 2011 पनि बिताए .

मेरो त g.f. एकदम खुशी भै

गालामा च्वाक्क मोई खाई र खुरुक्कै आफ्नो घर गई

एसो गोजीमा हेरेको त एउटा कागज भेटे

फाट्नै लागेको 5 rupee रैछ, म मुसुक्क हाँसे

'पान कति हो भैया ?' भनेको त 10 rupee भन्छ

सरम पचाएर सोधे मैले, 'half पान 5 rupee मा पाउछ ?'

दोकाने को देखि झन्डै झटारो खाए

सुईकुच्चा ठोक्ने भाको उत्तानो चित परि लड़े

असाध्यै नराम्रो संगले चाक ठोक्किएछ, झन्डै मरे .

दुख-सुख valentine day पनि सकियो काबू पनि भैयो

अब कान पकड़े मनाउदिन

न त गुलाब नै दिन्छु उसलाई

उ रिसाए रिसाओस, म जान्दिन

बोरु 14th Feb. fasting बसी दिन्छु

मौन ब्रत पनि थपी दिन्छु

Happy valentine Day भन्यो उसले भने

म Same to you भन्दै भन्दिन .

Dedicated to pumpy....... :)

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