I still remember that day, the day when as usual I was 10 minutes early for the tuition. The tutor, Mr. Singh Sir was strict about punctuality so I didn't wanted to give him a chance to scold me.
Not a single minute had passed after 8AM and students of the batch previous to us started coming out from his room. Singh Sir lived in a rented apartment at Soreng Bazaar, West Sikkim. His apartment was on the ground floor of the famous Dimcos building.
Everyday, the stairway and the little passage/verandah in the ground floor of that building used to get flooded with the students of class 10 and 12 coming for tuition. He was a renowned tutor of the locality of those days.
As the students of the previous batch left, we entered inside and took our favourite seats.... Mine being the farthest at the corner. The first room was the tuition room with two beds and a big table in the middle. Each batch had exactly 10 students and the two beds would comfortably hold 10 asses (some big and some smaller ones... :P). Singh Sir would sit in the chair at one end of the table like the head of the family.
So, as usual we were seated, sir went inside to take a tea break and the tuition room was filled with the aroma of samosas or aalu chops maybe. Since the kitchen was attached with the tuition room, so it was impossible for them to keep their dish secret. I wondered whether the dish was as tasty as it smelt and unknowingly I gulped.... as my saliva glands went crazy.
Meanwhile, two beautiful (or cute would be better word) girls (one among them is the female protagonist of this article) entered the tuition room. Since our batch already had 10 students and adding two more was out of question and also there was no place for them to sit, I wondered why were they here!
Sir came out patting his stomach and had a discussion with them. We came to know that they were students of present class 10 from TNA, Gangtok and were on their winter vacation to their ancestral home at Soreng. Their parents had arranged tuition for them so they could utilise some amount of their vacation time. Since they were present 10, tuition classes were not as important to them as it was to us. Our exams were starting after a couple of months.
One of the girl among the two was the cutest and most importantly her height also matched mine.... Since I was hardly 4.9 back then(though I have hardly managed to grow some inches more now). Her name according to unreliable sources was Sadhana.
Sadhana.... what a cute name! Ain't it? The tuition was never so lively before. Trigonometry was never so interesting before. I never took so much time in grooming myself for the tuition before. I even changed my seat, from my favourite place in the corner to the one close to sir (actually close to her.... :P).
In that one month, we hardly exchanged glances. Obviously I was too introvert and for her I was invisible.... sigh!!
But suddenly one day, I had a realisation. hehehe.... I knew that it was now or never. I decided to write a love letter, first love letter of my life. Though I had written a couple of letters on behalf of others and obviously they were never accepted. There must be some other reasons.... or was it because of my letter writing talent? Only god and the girls know!!
Trying in cursive font this time, I tried to write as slowly and elegantly as possible. Even managed to add a couple of dialogues like 'Rose is red, sky is blue.....' blah blah.... And finally giving it a classic touch, burnt the edges of the paper. So it was perfect. My first love letter. :P
Next day, I surprised my mom by taking a bath early in the morning. Little excited and little afraid I went for tuition. The girls came late everyday and that day too it was already 8:10 when they entered. Today I was not interested in the probability that Singh Sir was trying to teach us. I was thinking about how and where should I give the letter to her? Should I put it inside her copy when she is looking elsewhere? Ambho... how can I? I will look like a thief. Should I give her the letter and run away? Or should I act cool and try talking with her? Should I give it as soon as we leave the tuition? Or wait till we reach the market? What if she throws it away? Should I go and fetch that or leave it and pretend as if nothing happened? Should I wait till she reads it? I didn't know a thing!!
My mind was completely out of my control and I felt I was going to freak out soon.... The hour went by so fast. and by each passing minute, the pace of my heart increased.... I could literally see my hands shaking and hear my heart pounding. It was 9AM and as usual we left the room. I was still unable to decide what to do and they in a hurry went their way.
I felt sad. I became like a Devdas. I made up my mind that no matter what happens, I am giving this letter to her. Since, only some days were left for our tuition. Next day, with sheer determination and courage, I went early. I waited and waited but she didn't come. Same with the next day and the day after the next day. One day, one girl enquired about them and we came to know that their class is over. They wont be coming.
I became like Devdas++. The tuition was so boring without them. I hated going. Some days later, I too left the tuition. Days went by, slowly I forgot about her. Examination came, I got busy preparing for that. Then the tension of result, and life moved on.She was completely erased from my mind.
Couple of days back, when I was checking some of my older books and copies, I found that letter, kept neatly inside the Class 10 Mathematics book. Ignoring the little amount of fade, it was the same as I wrote it.
The memories rolled in my mind. The letter started with
Dear S......
Blah Blah Blah....
............................................ (Some dialogues)
........................................... (Some other dialogues)
With love,
A.....
Why didn't I write Sadhana instead of S...... Maybe because I wasn't sure about her spelling or actually name hehe..... Anyways while I was reading the letter, I felt as if I was reading some funny article. The letter made me laugh so hard and I felt embarrased as it was one of the funniest thing I had ever read and the fact that it was my first love letter made it worse. I was so much glad the letter is still with me and was undelivered.
At first I thought to keep it as a memory, but suddenly I thought about my brother's reaction after reading it. I would be the laughing stock and a joke material for months or years to come. While tearing it into pieces, I smiled and tried remembering her face but I couldn't.... I wondered how did she look like...
She was my first crush(or maybe 5th) hehe....
first or a fifth????
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